Throughout the school year, Mrs. Harrison had held her
tongue every time Mr. Dubois made a sarcastic, cutting remark to other
teachers-including her. More than one
teacher had lost their temper with him, but he simply shrugged off their
complaints by accusing them of not having any semblance of a sense of
humor. What made the situation worse was
that Mr. Dubois was a high-profile Christian in the community, frequently in
the news for spearheading short-term mission trips to Guatemala, recruiting
volunteers to work with him in his church’s soup kitchen, and serving as a lay
chaplain at the local hospital.
One afternoon, the perfect opportunity arose to talk to him
about the way he treated other people and the poor reflection his behavior was
on Christ. She and Mr. Dubois were the
only two teachers in faculty lounge at the time, and she knew she had to speak
up. Phrasing her comments as tactfully
and graciously as she knew how, she emphasized that she knew he was just
kidding around, suggesting that perhaps he did not realize how his remarks came
across to others. Mr. Dubois looked at
her intently and thoughtfully the whole time she spoke, nodding in agreement. When she finished, he opened his mouth as if
to speak-and burst into laughter. “You’ve
got to be kidding me! You’re telling me
how to act? I don’t think so,” he said.
At that moment, another teacher entered the room, and Mr. Dubois began
recounting-as dramatically as possible-what Mrs. Harrison ha just said to
him. Humiliated, she left the room, part
of her feeling hurt but most of her feeling vengeful.
What she did not know was that Miss Scott, the teacher who
had to listen to Mr. Dubois’s tirade, fully supported Mrs. Harrison and her
rightfulness in confronting him about his sarcasm. He had hurt and angered a lot of people, she
said, and many teachers were avoiding the faculty lounge for that very
reason. It was time he knew, and she was
glad her colleague had spoken up.
When classes resumed after spring break several weeks later,
Mr. Dubois found Mrs. Harrison alone in her classroom. Clearly repentant, he acknowledged his ongoing
inappropriate behavior as well as his rudeness and unkind treatment of her when
she had tried to reason with him. “There
was so much talk about forgiveness at over Easter that I couldn’t help but hear
what God was saying to me, “he said. “I
was wrong and I’ve been wrong for a long time. Will you forgive me?”
Mrs. Harrison hesitated.
She momentarily wondered if this was another one of his ruses. Would he burst out laughing in ridicule if
she extended forgiveness? But she knew
what she had to do: Regardless of his response, her responsibility as a
follower of Christ was to make the decision to forgive him and extend that
forgiveness out loud. “I forgive you,” she
said, Mr. Dubois thanked her-and asked her to hold him accountable for his
words. “Don’t wait till I’ve crossed the
line,” he said. “I want you to tell me right away, even if I’ve moved just an
inch closer to the line” with that, he left the room, resolved to close out the
school year on a more positive note.
Forgiveness, both seeking it and extending it, is a powerful
force in transforming a person’s life.
The greatest transformation, of course, comes when you ask God’s
forgiveness, accept it, and begin to live out your life as a new creation. (2Corinthians 5:17, Matthew 18:21-35). It’s
also transforming when you realize you have wronged another person and seek his
forgiveness. He or she may forgive your
or he or she may not. The only aspect of
that interaction that you have any control over is your own, and you’ve done
what you could by asking forgiveness (and making restitution, if
appropriate). If he or she refuses to
forgive you, you need to move on and not dwell on his or her response.
