Letting It Go...

Throughout the school year, Mrs. Harrison had held her tongue every time Mr. Dubois made a sarcastic, cutting remark to other teachers-including her.  More than one teacher had lost their temper with him, but he simply shrugged off their complaints by accusing them of not having any semblance of a sense of humor.  What made the situation worse was that Mr. Dubois was a high-profile Christian in the community, frequently in the news for spearheading short-term mission trips to Guatemala, recruiting volunteers to work with him in his church’s soup kitchen, and serving as a lay chaplain at the local hospital. 

One afternoon, the perfect opportunity arose to talk to him about the way he treated other people and the poor reflection his behavior was on Christ.  She and Mr. Dubois were the only two teachers in faculty lounge at the time, and she knew she had to speak up.  Phrasing her comments as tactfully and graciously as she knew how, she emphasized that she knew he was just kidding around, suggesting that perhaps he did not realize how his remarks came across to others.  Mr. Dubois looked at her intently and thoughtfully the whole time she spoke, nodding in agreement.  When she finished, he opened his mouth as if to speak-and burst into laughter.  “You’ve got to be kidding me!  You’re telling me how to act? I don’t think so,” he said.  At that moment, another teacher entered the room, and Mr. Dubois began recounting-as dramatically as possible-what Mrs. Harrison ha just said to him.  Humiliated, she left the room, part of her feeling hurt but most of her feeling vengeful. 

What she did not know was that Miss Scott, the teacher who had to listen to Mr. Dubois’s tirade, fully supported Mrs. Harrison and her rightfulness in confronting him about his sarcasm.  He had hurt and angered a lot of people, she said, and many teachers were avoiding the faculty lounge for that very reason.  It was time he knew, and she was glad her colleague had spoken up.

When classes resumed after spring break several weeks later, Mr. Dubois found Mrs. Harrison alone in her classroom.  Clearly repentant, he acknowledged his ongoing inappropriate behavior as well as his rudeness and unkind treatment of her when she had tried to reason with him.  “There was so much talk about forgiveness at over Easter that I couldn’t help but hear what God was saying to me, “he said.  “I was wrong and I’ve been wrong for a long time. Will you forgive me?”

Mrs. Harrison hesitated.  She momentarily wondered if this was another one of his ruses.  Would he burst out laughing in ridicule if she extended forgiveness?  But she knew what she had to do: Regardless of his response, her responsibility as a follower of Christ was to make the decision to forgive him and extend that forgiveness out loud.  “I forgive you,” she said, Mr. Dubois thanked her-and asked her to hold him accountable for his words.  “Don’t wait till I’ve crossed the line,” he said. “I want you to tell me right away, even if I’ve moved just an inch closer to the line” with that, he left the room, resolved to close out the school year on a more positive note.

Forgiveness, both seeking it and extending it, is a powerful force in transforming a person’s life.  The greatest transformation, of course, comes when you ask God’s forgiveness, accept it, and begin to live out your life as a new creation. (2Corinthians 5:17, Matthew 18:21-35).  It’s also transforming when you realize you have wronged another person and seek his forgiveness.  He or she may forgive your or he or she may not.  The only aspect of that interaction that you have any control over is your own, and you’ve done what you could by asking forgiveness (and making restitution, if appropriate).  If he or she refuses to forgive you, you need to move on and not dwell on his or her response.