FORGIVENESS AND FORGIVING IS PROFITABLE

Let's Examine This

  One day, when I was in college, a shifty-looking character approached me in the student union with a leather jacket he wanted me to see. It was a beauty: buttery smooth cowhide, with artfully stitched seams and long leather fringes. Buffalo Bill Cody would have worn it proudly. I can't remember what the price was, but it was obviously too little for such a jacket. Even as I forked over the money, I knew something wasn't right, sure enough, a couple days later the jacket's real owner, a student about my age, approached me as I was on my way to class. "That's my jacket," he said, "and I want it back." "No way," I answered. "I paid for it, and I have no idea if it's yours. It's mine." He didn't challenge me, and I left, but the uneasiness I had about my new possession now had visible face. A few days later, riding my bike across campus, I saw the real owner standing on the sidewalk. I rode over, took the jacket off handed it to him, said I was sorry, and rode off without another word. More than the weight of the jacket had been lifted from my shoulders. We're all human, which means that sometimes we do things we shouldn't do or say things we shouldn't say. Sometimes we realize too late that our actions have been hurtful to somebody else. When these hard times occur, the best response--the only response, really is, "I'm sorry." Owning up, promptly and forthrightly, helps the other person begin to heal. But just as important, it cleanses our own soul and sets us free. That is a small price to pay for a clear conscience. source: 50 things that really matter hallmark book 


 In this story you see the woman who bought a jacket off a peddler. When she was confronted by the owner of the jacket, her selfishness and greed she pushed off the fact of how she bought the jacket and if this could be the owner. Although, her conscious kept telling her that something wasn't right with that purchase. Given the chance to see the person again she apologizes and gives the owner the jacket. She left feeling freed from the guilt that was holding her prisoner inside, even if the other person never forgave her. She asked for forgiveness for the crime she had done, even though this was a two party crime. What about when someone has done you wrong, when you are the victim, Joseph is a prime example. 

 Joseph Reassures His Brothers 
Genesis 50:15 
15 When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?” 16 So they sent word to Joseph, saying, “Your father left these instructions before he died: 17 ‘This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” When their message came to him, Joseph wept. 18 His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,” they said. 19 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.  

Matthew 6:14-15New International Version (NIV) 
 14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Question: "Should a Christian Join a Fraternity or Sorority?"

Answer: In this reply on whether a Christian should join fraternities / sororities, we are giving possible issues.  As with anything else, always closely examine a group before you make any commitment to it. Research what fraternity / sorority life involves and requires. 

The first question that needs to be asked is why a person would want to join a fraternity / sorority. Motives in God's eyes are all important (1 Samuel 16:7). Depending on the motivating reasons, different issues come to the forefront. If one wants to join a fraternity / sorority because they have the best parties, the Bible says that such a life should belong in one's unsaved past, not in the present life of a believer (1 Peter 4:3). 

If one wants to join a fraternity / sorority because of it being a status symbol, it may be an issue of pride. The Bible repeatedly encourages humility both in life and in the choice of one's companions (Romans 12:16; 1 Peter 5:5-7), exhorting us to live even as Christ lived. The Bible mentions pride as sin and something God hates (Proverbs 6:16-19; 8:13; 11:2; 16:18; Daniel 4:37; 1 Peter 5:5; 1 John 2:15-17). 

A Christian’s closest relationships should be with fellow Christians and not based on externals tie such as belonging to the same fraternity / sorority, having gone to the same school, coming from same race or social class, etc. (Galatians 3:28; 1 Corinthians 12:12-13; 12:24-26; Galatians 6:10; John 13:34-35). Most colleges have branches of Christian organizations such as InterVarsity, Campus Crusade, and Navigators as well as good local churches who have college ministries to help young people come to know Christ and grow as His disciples. These groups and fellow Christians should be sought after as the core group of friends while one is away at college. 

Who one has as his closest companions is a major issue in Scripture whether they are fraternity brothers, roommates in a dorm, or classmates. Here are a few of Scripture's admonitions concerning this issue: "Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character" (1 Corinthians 15:33). “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm" (Proverbs 13:20). "I am a friend to all who fear you, to all who follow your precepts" (Psalm 119:63). In the end, the question of whether to join a raternityor sorority is a matter for prayer and following God’s leading in our hearts. 

Letting It Go...

Throughout the school year, Mrs. Harrison had held her tongue every time Mr. Dubois made a sarcastic, cutting remark to other teachers-including her.  More than one teacher had lost their temper with him, but he simply shrugged off their complaints by accusing them of not having any semblance of a sense of humor.  What made the situation worse was that Mr. Dubois was a high-profile Christian in the community, frequently in the news for spearheading short-term mission trips to Guatemala, recruiting volunteers to work with him in his church’s soup kitchen, and serving as a lay chaplain at the local hospital. 

One afternoon, the perfect opportunity arose to talk to him about the way he treated other people and the poor reflection his behavior was on Christ.  She and Mr. Dubois were the only two teachers in faculty lounge at the time, and she knew she had to speak up.  Phrasing her comments as tactfully and graciously as she knew how, she emphasized that she knew he was just kidding around, suggesting that perhaps he did not realize how his remarks came across to others.  Mr. Dubois looked at her intently and thoughtfully the whole time she spoke, nodding in agreement.  When she finished, he opened his mouth as if to speak-and burst into laughter.  “You’ve got to be kidding me!  You’re telling me how to act? I don’t think so,” he said.  At that moment, another teacher entered the room, and Mr. Dubois began recounting-as dramatically as possible-what Mrs. Harrison ha just said to him.  Humiliated, she left the room, part of her feeling hurt but most of her feeling vengeful. 

What she did not know was that Miss Scott, the teacher who had to listen to Mr. Dubois’s tirade, fully supported Mrs. Harrison and her rightfulness in confronting him about his sarcasm.  He had hurt and angered a lot of people, she said, and many teachers were avoiding the faculty lounge for that very reason.  It was time he knew, and she was glad her colleague had spoken up.

When classes resumed after spring break several weeks later, Mr. Dubois found Mrs. Harrison alone in her classroom.  Clearly repentant, he acknowledged his ongoing inappropriate behavior as well as his rudeness and unkind treatment of her when she had tried to reason with him.  “There was so much talk about forgiveness at over Easter that I couldn’t help but hear what God was saying to me, “he said.  “I was wrong and I’ve been wrong for a long time. Will you forgive me?”

Mrs. Harrison hesitated.  She momentarily wondered if this was another one of his ruses.  Would he burst out laughing in ridicule if she extended forgiveness?  But she knew what she had to do: Regardless of his response, her responsibility as a follower of Christ was to make the decision to forgive him and extend that forgiveness out loud.  “I forgive you,” she said, Mr. Dubois thanked her-and asked her to hold him accountable for his words.  “Don’t wait till I’ve crossed the line,” he said. “I want you to tell me right away, even if I’ve moved just an inch closer to the line” with that, he left the room, resolved to close out the school year on a more positive note.

Forgiveness, both seeking it and extending it, is a powerful force in transforming a person’s life.  The greatest transformation, of course, comes when you ask God’s forgiveness, accept it, and begin to live out your life as a new creation. (2Corinthians 5:17, Matthew 18:21-35).  It’s also transforming when you realize you have wronged another person and seek his forgiveness.  He or she may forgive your or he or she may not.  The only aspect of that interaction that you have any control over is your own, and you’ve done what you could by asking forgiveness (and making restitution, if appropriate).  If he or she refuses to forgive you, you need to move on and not dwell on his or her response.